Back at it

After a week of great workouts, this weekend did not measure up~ so today I laced back up! My newest partner make it half way, and decided to motor scooter for the second half. But the funniest was the belt-duck tape-ziplock bag-comics contraption that he came up with to entertain himself as he waited for me at each stopping point. Ingenious. Hysterical. This prince. Awesome kid. 

B&B weekend

For days, Bennett has looking forward to our “B&B weekend”~ just me and B! Aiden and Aaron were on a big Scout campout...

So while the “A’s” were biking, fishing, campfire sitting, B and I were just being “B’s!”

Chalk Art fest, circus, scholarship auction at Cornerstone~ all kept us happy B’s! And all I can say is~ gosh I love this squishy face, his strong spirit, even when it drives me to madness, he’s somethin’ special, my little benediction, my littlest blessing!

Long day

After a long day, the boys asked to eat dinner on the porch- so why not?! I love saying yes, when they expect me to say no!

Monday blues...

Sundays are wonderful and terrible all at once... well not really all at once but more like a roller coaster... some wonderful moments and some not so.

 I wake up early, usually before all my boys, get ready and head out to sing at church with just Aiden on the couch by then... before I head into my first service at NUCC I call home and Aaron and Bennett are just getting up... they get ready for church too, but CUMC church at a different time and a different place. Worlds apart it seems at times. Aaron serves on the Youth leadership team at CUMC and I serve in the choir at NUCC. In the moment, serving with the gifts we’ve been given, we feel blessed. Unfortunately, my moment happen from 9-noon and Aaron’s moment happens from 3-6. Doesn’t leave much time in between for family time. And like today, we end the day going to different directions. Two different attitudes. Two different worlds. 

There are sweet moments hidden during the day, but it’s not really the family day that I need/want/desire at the end of a long week and getting ready to start a new week...

Here’s one of those moments for me and my littles today- a beautiful bike ride enjoying the weather, finally warm enough to not be layered!

Sadly, most Sundays end with Monday blues... Monday is my least favorite day of the week (Saturday my most loved day)... time with my family is my most precious time in life. And I am grateful for the lunch we were able to share as a family... but then different directions we go... I often wonder how long this will last?... how long will we allow this to go on?.... what’s most important here?... why are we doing this?... and  are those reasons the right reasons?!... are these Monday blues really necessary?... 

Oh Monday blues... please leave me alone!!!

A new chapter

Well, there’s too many emotions to work though yet, but the fact is, this kid did his first run/walk with me tonight! Just a mile and a half but we did it together!

So strange to have him at my shoulder, instead of in the stroller as he was for years, or on his own wheels as he’s done recently... so strange, yet so natural. And just as naturally as has always happened with my best running partner, (Lisa miss you in these miles!), the road and the sweat create the perfect environment for therapy, for heart to heart confessions, for laughter and tears. It all happened tonight. I wasn’t prepared, but it all happened tonight. 

It is a new chapter- I can’t deal with how I got here yet, but I think it’s ok... because he needs it. My prince is ready for this new chapter, and although I want to fight it, and deny it, he’s right. We both need this, and will do it together! Bring on the new chapter! 

Oh Christmas tree

It’s no secret that Christmas music is my favorite- to sing, to dance to, for happy times and sad times... but today was the day when the Christmas tree had to be put away... 

I love the glistening lights, the warmth that it brings in my memories... and although Aiden asked last week if the tree could stay up all year, it was finally time. So as each precious ornament got boxes up, I relived the memory each brought- lots of photos frames, homemade sweet ones from tiny painted hands and toes, gifts from friends and family- all have a story.  The best part of packing up Christmas? Having a reason to finally clean out and organize the garage. Well it’s all done, I’m exhausted, but looking forward to MLK day tomorrow. I have the day off, and the boys did until the school schedule got adjusted after Irma... looking forward to some ME time! 

Greatest Showman

The story of PT Barnum, but so much more... Funny that this memory popped up on fb of Aiden before Bennett was born- I remember clearly this January 2012 trip over to Miami to see the big circus~ although Barnum came through Ft Myers, it’s a small circus than the one that comes to Miami. Aiden loved the elephants the most, but was really kinda freaked out by the ringleader... this is the smile that I remember... he just was so happy...

So tonight we saw “The Greatest Showman” and it was great! Music, singing, dancing, laughs, and a wonderful story of diversity, acceptance and family! 

I can’t wait to see it again... and next time I will be better prepared with my box of Kleenex! 

Go outside

There are days that I spend too many hours day dreaming... and often those daydreams are in a sunny or sandy setting- outside is where I feel free... 

... and often those daydreams have just a few characters- usually Aiden and Bennett and Aaron.  Today I dreamed over and over about the yellow~time- it’s one of my favorite times to be outside... it’s just before sunset, but after the sun has started heading towards the horizon... and at just the right time, for about an hour, there’s this warm yellow blanket over the earth... and not yellow like a lemon, but yellow like butter~the perfect creamy tint that makes it yellow but not far from cream. 

Today my daydream came true~it started with bikes and hills and squeals of Joy throwing rocks in the lake... and I just watched as the boys soaked up the yellow~time...see the yellow~time peaking through the leaves?

And then the yellow~time welcomes in layers of warmth... more and more colors sneak into the scene...

And then I remember that darkness quickly approaches... so we take one perfect selfie so I can remember this moment of yellow~time, precious time, making memories time!

I will remember this moment!

I believe...

I have a desktop sign that sits in my office that reads:

I believe in God because of rainbows!

Simple, yes.

Beautiful, yes.

Innocent, yes.

But I love it for all those reasons- especially when I have an overwhelming, stressful, complicated day- much like today. I found myself about 3pm off-task... as usual... mostly because it’s about that time Dad is in carline picking up my precious cargo from school and I just can’t wait til my phone rings with pick-up pictures, and/or a “daily report” video, and sometimes a hysterical string of random emojis that proves the boys have hijacked my dads phone (yes, Dad loves a good string of emojis but they always make sense and are very specifically selected for the recipient and/or subject matter at hand). It’s also that time of day that I can feel my sugar level drop, my eyelids grow heavy, and I usually end up needing a walk in order to regain focus for the rest of the afternoon. 

So today, as my mind wandered after the boys videos popped through, I glanced at this sweet little sign... it’s actually a pin, round in shape, but not intended for actually wearing since it also has a little stand on the back. I’m not sure, but I think it originally belonged to my sister- I have a fuzzy memory of it sitting on her desk at South Miami Methodist while I was a little girl. It’s got a crayon colored rainbow over the words, and the words are also handwritten in crayon as if a child has written it. I’ve always loved it because it’s so childlike and welcoming. Somehow it’s survived many years and somehow I’ve stolen it and always been on my desk since I started almost 12 years ago!

With all that being said, for as long as I can remember I think about the sentiment each time I see a rainbow. And each time it renews my sense of faith, yes in a very simple, beautiful and innocent way- just like that little sign- but it always makes me smile- on my face and in my heart!

And today I smiled. Extra today. Because this beauty welcomed me home. And even more precious and perfect is that the end of the rainbow lands right at our home. Yes, Gods gift today for me. Yes, I believe in God. Yes, I believe in God because of rainbows. 

There are angels among us

It’s hard to believe but the first born nephew, Branson James, in the Thayer family has been gone for 4 years. I close my eyes and am sitting on the floor of our Orchards rental house... I’m heavy in grief... tears and wailing come in waves... Aiden can’t stop asking me why I’m so sad...then he walks over and plays with the trains on the train table...  My parents come to take the boys away, Aaron has to get to school, and Lisa arrives to hold me while I sob. Somehow I get outside and she has to hold me up because my knees buckle underneath me. It’s pure and true sadness like I’ve never felt before. I remember shaking while dialing Jessica’s number- I knew she wouldn’t answer but I felt like maybe if I heard at least her voice in her voicemail that would make me feel closer to Branson. I don’t know what I said but I left a message. I also don’t know how (or why!) I got to work, but I know I didn’t get anything done. I spend at least an hour crying with a friend and colleague but after that I it’s all a fog... that is until that weekend when I walked into Reid and Jess’ house, into their bathroom, and hugged Jessica like I never have before. She was in a fog too, but at least I felt like I was closer to Branson. I wasn’t ready to let go. He was gone.. for day Branson was gone... but I wasn’t ready... no one was. Christmas was wonderful that year- so much fun and laughter, reading , singing and games- in fact that was the year of headbands- and although Branson couldn’t play, I remember him wearing one of those silly headbands forever... in fact here is one of my favorite pictures from that Christmas... Just makes me smile and giggle a bit too! Branson’s laugh, and often squeal, was just infectious- if Branson got going, everyone would end up laughing too!

Here’s another of my favorite from Christmas 2013... seems so long, yet just moments away...

The years have past and the tears fade away- but not the memories! Any time a story crosses my mind, I honor Branson and share it with someone! It usually puts me in a fit of laughter, but sometimes the tears come... I miss you so, Branson James, but each time I tell a story it ends with: “Branson is our angel! He is running and dancing and singing in heaven like he never could here, bound by too many earthly problems! I can’t wait for that reunion!”

#KiltsBrewsAndIDos

The most appropriate hashtag for wedding weekend! Punk, Dad, Maus, Scott and Nick in kilts, lots of brews, and the last sibling of the Davidson clan finally said his I Do’s! Such a great weekend in Tallahassee, although too cold, was warmed with love and laughter at the perfect wedding for Punk and Shannon. Precious moments for me included seeing my little brother walk out and whispered back to me, “I love you,” after I whispered to him... then watching Bennett walk down the isle with this sign...

Followed the next sign, “... and she looks amazing!” And she did!

Then getting up to sing as Punk and Shannon shared communion and prayed quietly and sweetly over each other...

Then hearing them both giggle with joy as they walked down the isle together as husband and wife...

Then a great party of dancing! Such joy to be with family from all over- some we haven’t seen since my wedding! All the sibs and cousins, as well as Aunt Judy and Aunt Betsy, Dads cousins Cadwallader’s, and even Kay and Larry Edwards!

The wedding high came crashing down around us after the long drive back to Naples today, and hit Aiden the hardest with sadness and tears that the weekend was done and he didn’t get enough time with Punk! In a funny sort of way, it makes me grateful that we are close enough that Aiden experienced those feelings... and as I talked with him about our family, helped him to understand the importance of our family and grateful that we are as close as we are!

Wedding rehearsal day

Chilly weather, warm hearts. Lots of hugs and kisses, love and laughter, happy tears, greeting long lost family members and getting to know new family! Bennett was the perfect little sign carrier, but nothing tops my own baby brother glowing with happiness as he prepares for wedding day! 

Packing day

My last day off before we leave for Tallahassee! Cleaning, packing, trying to figure out how to deal with cold weather, really cold weather... in fact Punk sent a video this morning of a sneak snow ball attack- yes, there was actually snow fall in Tally this morning! My hope is that since it happened today, it WON’T happen while we are there- with lots of outside activities, including the wedding itself- I’m a bit worried since we do not have the right clothes to keep us warm! 

We did have time to fit in some Bounce play- mostly spent in dodgeball, until Bennett got kicked out for being too short. But before that, he loved it- and I loved watching he and Aiden figure out how to get on the same team each time- they would position themselves in line with another kid between. Then, once out in the court, Aiden stoood protectively in front of B to help him stay in the game longer. So great to watch such brotherly love from the bench! 

Poundin’ it!

So happy!

Chilly day

It sure does feel like January here in Naples! Today it must’ve been someplace between the 50s and 60s when I went out to take my walk and by the time we went out to play and explore for the day it was mid 60s… Chilly enough to make me bundle up! It was the last day of shopping and preparation for the wedding this weekend… And I even got some Bible journaling done… Might be one of my new favorite relaxing activities! 

We had a great family lunch at Sweet tomatoes, of course Bennett’s request. And then some time to play this afternoon and even a bike ride all bundled up to the library… The most exciting thing about that library visit was that we found one of Aiden’s sculptures on display in the library lobby. He also discovered that the library has several books on CD to rent… And that is how he spent most of the evening catching up on some Harry Potter...I think he found great joy in listening while reading!

And Bennett decided to be his little independent self and make his own dinner...

Even finding his own spices!

And so proud at the end of the meal!

But I find the greatest joy in his desire to write letters in his new notebooks from Christmas and use his new desk! Growing too fast! 

Yes, it as waaaay past bedtime but how could shut down such great work?!

His thank you note to Santa, and even with a picture of B and Santa, hat and belt included!
Just melts my heart- these little precious notes!

Happy New Year!

It’s time! The first day of the new year and I don’t want to miss a moment, or let a day go by without making memories... and remembering! So my hope is that each day I’ll take a moment here to help me remember! 

Today was a full day of family fun- we spent several hours at C’mon. We haven’t been here for years, but since way back when, Aiden has grown enough that he is now welcome in the “big kid” room- no adults allowed! Bennett’s favorite was shopping and checking out all his groceries. Aaron and I both had moments that we had to pinch ourselves- no worry about someone getting lost, or falling down the stairs, or even a glance at the “baby” section- so freeing to be with big kids!

Aiden did a great show of jokes, and even invited this “audience member” to come share the stage with him!
And of course we found Aiden’s brick- favorite birthday present from yaya- sheesh, was that a 3 year old present?!

Well, a great start to the new year! And here’s to making and saving memories for this year- bring it on, 2018!

Oh, and how could I forget this fashionista child... ready for dinner out to celebrate with mommy and daddy- married 11 years!